Tuesday, May 15, 2007

MOTHERHOOD, THE FINAL FRONTIER


You enter into the ranks of motherhood with such blossoming and optimistic innocence. A few months of sleep deprivation cures that. You always looked with disdain at those parents who didn't keep their children controlled. Your children would behave much better because you would teach them manners. Ha! Funny, you never knew about strong willed children until you had them! Now you think there is something wrong with them: they must be hyperactive or something! No Honey, they are normal. You must adapt to a new reality: Children rule. You have no life of your own. Somehow you get through their childhood. You even have moments of great pride and pleasure.
Then they become teenagers. Oddly, you retained enough of your former innocence that you never saw it coming. Another evil truth reveals itself. Teenagers are possessed. Why is your daughter crying again? Why is your son punching holes in the walls? Why is their father working late again? And where is my Prozac???
And then came Mother's Day. I used to HATE Mother's Day. What a crock! We would go to church and listen to all the MEN talk about how wonderful we mothers are. They would hand us each a petunia, and send us home; each of us feeling like we aren't THAT mother. Sometimes when the kids were little we would get a homemade gift from school. By the time they were teenagers there was nary a mumble about Mother's Day. You would not catch them giving any kind thoughts away. My husband was no better. "You aren't MY mother," he would say. Yes, most mothers end up raising their husbands also.
Well , finally Mother's Day means something! My husband has grown up and realizes that he could have been more helpful. My children have grown up and wonder how I did it all? My daughter and daughter-in-law are re-living my life, bless their hearts! They work hard to take care of their family in ways that their husbands just can't fathom. Yes, I love my son and my son-in-law, but they are men and they have a way of making things more difficult than necessary. Need I say more?
All four of my grown children called to give me love and good wishes. Really, they are great kids and I am so proud of them! Those with children look at life differently now. Funny how that happens. Both my sons have apologized to me for the trouble they gave me through the years. My youngest son, trying to add a little humor to his humility, said to me, "Mom I really love you and you are a great mom, in spite of what I may have said when I yelled at you." My reply: "I know I'm a good mother, son, I am just glad that you know it!"
Really, it wasn't as bad as the picture I painted. Really, there was lots more joy than pain. Really, it was a lot harder than I ever thought it would be. Really, I wouldn't trade any of them. And really, I love being a grandmother!

12 comments:

Libby said...

Ain't it the truth *s* I couldn't have said it better.

Kim said...

Boy, you can say that again! I enjoyed your post tremendously!

Leigh said...

Great post Marcie.
Well said! :-)

Darlene said...

Perfectly said! Here, here, Marcie!

Mrs. Goodneedle said...

Well said, oh yes... great post!
Happy Mother's Day

Knot Garden said...

That really struck a chord with me! Well said and a lovely photo.
Oh and thanks for your nice comments on my blog:)
Caroline

Susan said...

Oh, boy. You had the same kids I did? LOL! And I always had to be the one to buy the cards and gifts for *his* mom!

Gail said...

Amen! You have said it all.

Dawn said...

Your describing my life! Well up to the point where DH and kids get it! I'm still waiting for that to happen! I loved your post!

Screen Door said...

I'm behind the times - I'm just now getting to read this. Moms need to cut this out and put it on the fridge. You hit the nail on the head--- We'll make it if we just hang on. I think at this point in the game, I like whether it's good or bad--- At least my life is pretty much normal (the same as others)... Thanks for the posts....

JudyL said...

Your post is so true. I was 33 when we adopted Chad so I had experienced many years of giving mothers that "look" when their children misbehaved. I knew my child would *never* act that way. I think you know I should have gone back and apologized to many mothers!! Chad is a good kid but I suspect he will apologize to me one day -- once his children do the same things to him that he has done to me.

anne bebbington said...

Yep - you're right they never tell you those things at ante-natal classes - our eldest was a very lively strong willed toddler - Nigel's aunt passed this comment at a family wedding 'It's hard work now but it will stand her in good stead in the future' How right she was - Sarah faces the world head on and wins!